First, I decided on my core values. Things that are highly important to me. Things such as honesty, compassion, kindness, joyfulness, self care.
The list keeps growing but as long as I keep alignment with these things I'm pretty happy but then comes step two, which is the mantra, " I am happy with myself. I love myself. I am enough."
Three simple lines. The first, "I am happy with myself" is pretty simple and straight forward as long as I'm aligned with and following my core values.
The second line, "I love myself" might be a little more difficult for some but, again, if you follow your core values what's not to love? And without self love you can't love others, really. So pretty important to work on.
Now, the third line, "I am enough". This is my weak area. I now know I've held pretty high standards for myself.. maybe even impossible. Also, this is where validation from others comes in.
Realistically, I know I don't need others approval but I've been not only seeking it but also judging myself and punishing myself when I didn't get it. Which is pretty sad when I think about what I would feel like if my daughter was holding herself to the same standards. That's not something I want to model for her so I'm stopping with that. Immediately.
The value list helps me to feel more... put together and on track with my life, if that makes sence? And the mantra is the key to to it all. Without the mantra I allow myself to be judged and doubt myself constantly. Without the mantra I set impossible goals and over extend myself.
I don't know if it works for everyone but it certainly works for me. I hope you will try it out and let me know how you feel about it - via comment below or email. xx